What to Do If You Hate Having Your Photo Taken (But Still Want Family Photos You Actually Love)
If you’ve spent the last year un-tagging yourself from every group photo, this is for you. We’ve all been there. I look like I’m being questioned by the FBI in half the photos I’m in. Most parents tell me the same thing before we shoot: “I hate having my picture taken.” Then they book anyway, because the kids are growing fast and somebody has to remember this.
So why do we get a panic attack about family photos? Why does it bring the fear of god into us, and why does finding the right photographer for camera-shy families feel so hard?
You’re fine with a camera — your phone’s full of pictures.
What you dread is being told to stand a certain way, smile a certain way, hold that smile until your face aches Having Your Photo Taken.
That’s not shyness. That’s a normal reaction to bad photography performance. What you’re actually afraid of is forcing that natural moment and being asked to perform a version of yourself you don’t recognize. Act like a model. Smise. Smise harder!
Screw that.
That’s not camera-shyness. That’s a completely rational response to bad photography.
Good news: it’s avoidable. Bad news: most photographers never develop the skills fix it, because they’ve never asked why parents dread this in the first place.
What “natural family photography” actually means… Having Your Photo Taken
Every website says “natural” and “candid.” Most don’t back it up. Natural doesn’t happen by luck. It happens because the photographer builds the session to get you there.
“Natural” doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because the photographer has a specific method for getting you there. Like every story has a director, good camera-shy family photography has someone quietly guiding the journey behind the scenes.
No pose list. We’re not doing a catalog shoot. Standing still and smiling straight at a lens is the hardest thing to make look real.
Movement, not stillness. Give people something to do: walk, chase a kid, carry a kid, laugh at a kid. The face relaxes on its own. Standing there with nothing to do is where the stiffness comes from.
Short bursts, not one long block of time shooting pictures. Kids run out of patience in ten minutes or less. Parents run out of patience watching kids run out of patience. I work in short stretches instead of forcing one long session.
Comfort with quiet. Not every second needs direction. Sometimes the job is to shut up, step back, and let things unfold naturally in front of the lens.
If a photographer can’t tell you exactly how they handle a camera-shy family, that tells you what you need to know about if you should book them or not.
The first ten minutes
Here’s the part that changes everything Having Your Photo Taken. I don’t start shooting the second we meet. The first ten minutes, I’m not really photographing. I’m talking, watching how your family moves together, letting the kids get used to a stranger standing around with a camera.
By the time I actually start shooting, nobody’s performing anymore. They’ve forgotten I’m there. That’s the whole point.
What a session actually looks like…Having Your Photo Taken
Arrival. I’m not directing yet. I’m watching how you naturally interact with each other together, how the kids take off toward the yard, how you talk to each other when you think no one’s watching.
Movement. We go do something: a walk, a game, snacks on the porch, a bubble machine fight, whatever your family actually does. I shoot while it’s happening. Nobody’s told to look at me.
The quiet stretch. Something always slows down. A kid wears out. A parent laughs at something small. I catch it. This is usually the shot people come back to a year later.
The portrait. Two minutes, maybe three. Everyone together, looking at the camera, once. Quick. Done before anyone gets restless.
Goodbye. Back to your day. No lingering, no extra ask.
What you don’t have to do
Nothing you don’t want to. If you want zero posed shots, tell me and we skip that part entirely.
The photo you keep for ten years isn’t the one where everyone nailed the smile. It’s the one where your toddler is mid-meltdown in the background and you’re laughing anyway. That’s the one that’s actually yours.
Welcome to Jeff Jansen Photography
Ready to book your session?