You know the drill. You line the kids up. You say “okay, everybody smile for the camera.”
And one of them gives you that face. The cross eyed look of seriously? The one that looks like they’re posing for a mugshot instead of a family photo. You’ve probably got a hundred of these on your phone already. Everybody’s looking at the camera. Nobody’s actually there. Same stiff shoulders. Same flat eyes. The same forced grin held just a little too long because you kept saying “one more, one more.”
Here’s the thing nobody tells you: a real smile will almost never show up on command. It shows up when you don’t expect it. It shows up mid laugh, when a sibling says something ridiculous or a bubble pops on someone’s nose. It shows up when nobody’s watching the camera at all.
So I stopped asking for it.
At a session with me, you won’t hear “say cheese.”
You won’t hear “ok everybody, on three.” I’m not going to line your kids up and count down like we’re launching a rocket to the moon.
I’m going to hang back, stay quiet, and wait for the moment that actually happens. The real one. The one you’ll still want to look at in ten years.
I did a session not long ago with a big group, seven people under one oak tree, blowing bubbles. Nobody was posing. One kid was chasing bubbles across the grass instead of looking at me. Another one squinted straight into the sun and forgot the camera even existed. Somebody’s grandmother reached out to catch a bubble in her palm, and for a second her whole face just lit up, not because anyone told her to smile, but because catching a bubble is just fun when you’re not thinking about how you look doing it. That’s why I go for the shot. Not the lineup. Not the “everybody look here” moment. The one where nobody is performing for the camera. The one where a grown woman looked exactly like the little kid she used to be.
That’s what I mean when I say connection over perfection every time.
If your kid won’t cooperate, that’s fine. That’s actually good news. It means I get to catch something true instead of something staged. You don’t have to bribe anyone with candy for one stiff grin. You don’t have to threaten a timeout to get five seconds of eye contact. You don’t have to bargain, beg, or count to three seventeen times while everyone’s patience runs out, including yours.
You just have to show up and let your family be exactly as chaotic and real as it already is. Let the toddler wander off mid shot. Let the teenager roll their eyes at something their sibling said. Let the dog wander through the frame because he wanted to know what all the bubbles were all about. None of that ruins the photo. Most of the time, it makes it the best picture of the entire session.
I’ll take care of the rest. I’ll be the one standing back, watching for the second before the smile turns fake, or the moment right after someone stops trying so hard pretending to want to smile for a camera. That’s usually where the real picture is hiding.
So next time somebody tells you to get the kids to smile for the camera, you can relax. You don’t need a fake smile. You don’t need cooperation, or good moods, or perfect weather. You need someone who knows how to wait for the real one, and knows it’s usually already happening right in front of them.
Welcome to Jeff Jansen Photography
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